The I-Don't-Wanna-Leave!!! Syndrome

This benign but potentially malignant syndrome is denoted by a cluster of psychosomatic symptoms and signs as a result of having to budge from a familiar surrounding not out of an individual's choice. More common and predictable in those with a previous similar history. The alteration in one's personality and habits usually begin a few days prior to the actual relocation but if severe, can be observed a week before with subtle signs manifesting up to a fortnight prior to that. The duration varies depending on the severity of the syndrome, with Grade I seeing resolution within a week post-move, Grade II less than 2 weeks and Grade III less than a month. A period more than a month should be referred for treatment.

Symptoms

• Unable to palate large amounts of food despite the desire to have them all
  
• Limbs feel like they are made of lead
  
• Interrupted sleep, waking up before afternoon
• Vivid dreams involving memories of people associated with this place called home
  
• Inability to concentrate even when thinking of devilish plans
  
• Imagines to have superhero abilities to transport oneself from one place to another just by wishing
  

Signs

• Decreased speech content, tone or may just be odd eg. incomprehensible sentences randomly peppered with words like fishball, watermelon etc
• Reduced mischievousness
  
• Clinging to pieces of furniture in an octopus-like manner for hours on end
• Doesn't respond to retail therapy, bribes of new toys and doesn't even blink at the sight of money

Management

Reassurance of better inducement and continuous offers of toys MIGHT work. However, in seasoned syndrome sufferers, trickery might be the best bet, with bags packed by a third party and the individual forcefully bundled off with the luggage when the time comes...