Came back to a lifeless room, devoid of any living soul, not even the briefest sight of my 8-legged live-in partner Fat Spidey.
Nobody's grumbling, nagging, or convincing me to check and recheck things, and neither is anybody up to any mischief, cracking silly jokes and laughing with and at me. Nobody's driving me up the wall, and neither can I drive anybody up the wall. Neither can I grumble, nag and do the whole mirror response thing with anybody. A box of plasters, a pile of crumpled tissue papers, a couple of coins and a supply of Maggi Mee were all that was left to remind me that this room had seen better days.
No more commanding and demanding, no more endless ice creams in the garden, no more late night movies, no more making one-sided deals.
I watched with a heavy heart as they walked away and as I turned in the opposite direction to head to a different terminal alone, I knew this was the last day of summer for me.
Tuesday 29 July 2008
Thursday 17 July 2008
Edinburgh Did The Trick
I think I've found the missing link!
What's been bothering me the most might be the absence of the hustle and bustle of city life. A trip to Edinburgh also reminded me of how much I used to love the sound of bagpipes and still do.
The crowd, the retail outlets, the entertainment, the whole shebang on money making schemes.
The architecture on a sunny day that still manages to stop me in my tracks.
The sight of gifted animals that abide by traffic laws.
Amidst the bellows of bagpipes, I knew that the novelty of being in Scotland hasn't completely worn off. The charms are still in place. Should have applied to Edinburgh instead! Dang!
What's been bothering me the most might be the absence of the hustle and bustle of city life. A trip to Edinburgh also reminded me of how much I used to love the sound of bagpipes and still do.
The crowd, the retail outlets, the entertainment, the whole shebang on money making schemes.
The architecture on a sunny day that still manages to stop me in my tracks.
The sight of gifted animals that abide by traffic laws.Amidst the bellows of bagpipes, I knew that the novelty of being in Scotland hasn't completely worn off. The charms are still in place. Should have applied to Edinburgh instead! Dang!
Saturday 12 July 2008
Reminiscing on Dreams
What is it about some dreams that make them so real and occupy our thoughts for the rest of the day wondering about what-ifs and what-could-have-beens? Are they really manifestations of subconscious thoughts? Or platforms for us to express or practice our perfected scripted dramas?
Theory has it that one only obtains a restful night if not bothered by dreams. I beg to differ. I, for one, love my endless dreams and look forward to them at every possible opportunity. Maybe I wouldn't say so if most of my dreams weren't pleasant. But, one thing for sure, dreaming is like a hobby for me, even if I don't remember much for long, I'll have the sensation of having been to a good movie if the dream-of-the-day is an enjoyable one.
Then there are also those recurrent ones with people from my past, their presence so strong as though I have not gone a day without embracing myself in their facades. The stature, the demeanour, the smile, the speech and even the scent are so vivid that I believe I'm in another world altogether- the place where I want to be. And when the phone rang this morning to disrupt my fairytale, my groggy self was too hung up on getting back to my parallel life to even be annoyed. Unfortunately, like all dreams, they rarely EVER continue where they've left off...
However, this makes me wonder...do people you dream about dream of you too? And if they do, would they even consider telling you? Or would ego be in the way for fear of being seen as a freak?
Theory has it that one only obtains a restful night if not bothered by dreams. I beg to differ. I, for one, love my endless dreams and look forward to them at every possible opportunity. Maybe I wouldn't say so if most of my dreams weren't pleasant. But, one thing for sure, dreaming is like a hobby for me, even if I don't remember much for long, I'll have the sensation of having been to a good movie if the dream-of-the-day is an enjoyable one.
Then there are also those recurrent ones with people from my past, their presence so strong as though I have not gone a day without embracing myself in their facades. The stature, the demeanour, the smile, the speech and even the scent are so vivid that I believe I'm in another world altogether- the place where I want to be. And when the phone rang this morning to disrupt my fairytale, my groggy self was too hung up on getting back to my parallel life to even be annoyed. Unfortunately, like all dreams, they rarely EVER continue where they've left off...
However, this makes me wonder...do people you dream about dream of you too? And if they do, would they even consider telling you? Or would ego be in the way for fear of being seen as a freak?
Wednesday 2 July 2008
Brain Gone Loopy
Checked my email last night and completely freaked out as the contents meant that circumstances had changed and that would influence my decision. From 85:15 the scales had tipped to 45:55. And it completely spoilt my mood. Went to bed enacting different option plans, trying to figure out what is it that I really want, wondering whether this is fate and hypothesing whether this may be a blessing in disguise to edge me to take charge and face my demons. My hyper happy mood was obliterated and replaced with the familiar anxiety just by a single email!
Woke up this morning, and suddenly it hit me that I had misinterpreted the contents! Which means that I'm back at square 1 and that I freaked out for nothing. Why is it that I have a tendency to do that, and would out of the blue find answers or solutions upon waking up? Haiya... so now, I'm back to happy, the hyperness is escalating as the hours tick by coz my clan's arriving today!!!! It's not just about homesickness, and being with loved ones, but I also believe they will help me see things as they are clearly and keep me right. Probably should let them rest a bit before I pounce on them, but I bet there's little chance of that and knowing me, they'll expect that too. Afterall, in my whole life, nobody could disrupt my sleep as I would be really grumpy, but if I see them resting or sleeping when I'm wide awake, aha... time to start poking , tickling and pulling hehe...
That's it... no more worries for the timebeing, I'll be occupied and too busy enjoying the company of my folks ;)
Woke up this morning, and suddenly it hit me that I had misinterpreted the contents! Which means that I'm back at square 1 and that I freaked out for nothing. Why is it that I have a tendency to do that, and would out of the blue find answers or solutions upon waking up? Haiya... so now, I'm back to happy, the hyperness is escalating as the hours tick by coz my clan's arriving today!!!! It's not just about homesickness, and being with loved ones, but I also believe they will help me see things as they are clearly and keep me right. Probably should let them rest a bit before I pounce on them, but I bet there's little chance of that and knowing me, they'll expect that too. Afterall, in my whole life, nobody could disrupt my sleep as I would be really grumpy, but if I see them resting or sleeping when I'm wide awake, aha... time to start poking , tickling and pulling hehe...
That's it... no more worries for the timebeing, I'll be occupied and too busy enjoying the company of my folks ;)
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