Bruised Arm

No skin prep. Fine.

No gloves. Fine.

No skin traction. Fine.

No warning. Fine.

PAIN on puncture instead of prickly sensation. Suspicious.

Drop of blood at puncture site. More suspicious.

Persisting PAIN during procedure. Looked at drop of blood. Thinks to self: Double puncture. Did needle go through the other side of the vein?

Resumed vampire duties amidst persisting PAIN for the rest of the day. Thinks to self: Bloody nurse no skill. Lucky I insisted left arm. Hope I won't inflict similar anguish on my preys today. Maybe I had done so in the past and this is plain karma?

Removed inproperly positioned plaster the next morning and noticed...

Courtesy of a 'very skillful' nurse

Wtf?!??! This is sooo not karma. Never have blood tests been painful and so memorable (literally) for me. And I usually have a high pain threshold. Plus I sure as hell didn't ask for a temporary tattoo. Unless I did and my memory has failed me again. Seriously...really no skill man.

P/S: Hope nothing happens to me when I go back for my booster jabs on Monday ''=.=''

Relieved

I feel so much better knowing that the people I care most DO understand. Although I'm still non-commital, I am more than relieved to know that they will back me up regardless of my chosen path. And this is the source of my courage right now. The most beautiful part is, I didn't need to spell it out. They somehow know. And thus I'm extremely glad.

All along I have been thriving solely on my competitive nature. The satisfaction of obtaining what many desire was far greater than the magnitude of the achievements themselves. The buzz was so addictive to the point that I sometimes would attempt a good fight for something that I had the littlest interest in. And suddenly one day I woke up to find that this was no longer fun. Maybe this was just too easy. Maybe it's because I want a different challenge. A proper challenge. Maybe because it finally hit me that I want more. More than what I have currently.

I'm weary of thinking and acting in a herd mentality manner. I'm tired of just-in-cases. I'm bored with meaningless races. I'm worried that the future doesn't intrigue me anymore. Or rather I'm in the "do now, think later" phase.

Going against the grain is the main attractive option now. Some would say that that's a foolish move but I see it as a challenge. Possibly THE new challenge to keep my torch burning. If I stumble and fall, go ahead and scream "I told you so!!!", but til then I'm all gung-ho to give it a shot despite my niggling reservations. And frankly, even if I DID fall, I'm positive I will find my way up on my feet again somehow or rather.

That said, I'm a lazy coward through and through. I have yet to decide. If circumstances change in my deliberation phase, I may just opt for the easy way out. For now. That is til I find the confidence to move on. If not, I'm all set for a new game altogether ;)

I Feel Like Running Away

Right, I KNOW how very blessed I am, how many would readily trade places with me and how I should be living the moment instead of feeling trapped, frustrated and angry. I'm not contented. Simply said, I just am not happy. My thought processes are running at full steam, my conscience and my heart are not at peace with each other. Silence one, and the other goes bonkers or rather I'll go bonkers... sooner or later.

Is this part of being an adult? Making decisions that would have effects for years down the line? Ditching dreams and conforming to norms? Delivering what's expected of me? Concealing my true thoughts so as not to offend? Swallowing responsibilities at the expense of my ideals? Turning my back to the child in me? Prioritising for the unforseeable future rather than leaping at the sight of instant gratifications?

If so, can I please please be granted a break as I'm not ready to grow up. In fact, I don't want to grow up. For as long as possible.

Thank YOU!!!

Thanks so much for...

all the love and support....

goofing around, cracking silly jokes and daring me to do things that I'd never have guts to face otherwise...

laughing with and at me...

cheering me up when I'm down...

listening to all my rantings...

your honest thoughts...

voicing my suppressed words when I can't even bring myself to whisper it...

reassuring me that everything will be alright like how it has always been...

pushing me to strive out of my lazy shell...

rooting for me through thick and thin...

expecting my inevitable anxiety after every bloody exam regardless how (well-according to you) it went, accepting that it's never going to get better but worse as I grow older, admonishing me for being too critical or 'kiasu' as you describe it, and yet worry silently with me...

being more happy for me than I can ever be for myself...

Thank YOU!!!

Bah Humbug

Been back in Aberdeen for 2 days. Have already had a night of interrupted sleep thanks to annoyingly loud flatmate. Then again it might be my fault for sleeping at 7pm. The point when I seriously considered to clobber her head off amidst my drowsiness may very well have been only 9pm or even earlier. That said if it was not for her jolting me awake every now and then, how could I then not be refreshed after 12 hours of sleep?!!?

Then there's the part where the kitchen is beyond filthy. After lugging my luggage up the stairs, I had to empty the bin then lug down bags of rubbish which were left on the kitchen floor creating a fort around the bin, the tops agape with contents visible to all- damn bloody disgusting! I haven't even mentioned the sinks. Hoho.. they were both clogged up with dishes and food remnants. The interesting bit is how one side had the same plates from 2 months ago. Live culture experiment yipee!!! From the looks of it, the cleaner was obviously MIA last week. But then again, how difficult could it be to bring rubbish downstairs on the way out? And people complain they don't exercise enough.Haiyo don't ask me how people (or if you want to be sexist, girls) can stand living like that. I'm wondering as well.

This reminds me of my weed-loving flatmate 2 years ago. Being the only guy in the flat, he was surprisingly pretty clean, taking the rubbish out and all. The only thing is the smell of pot in the kitchen which arguably gives a certain oomph to the food prepared there. At least he's neat! Ha! And come exam time, he nags me to study when he catches me watching Sex and the City reruns instead. So yeah, between pot and hygiene, I choose hygiene. It would be great if there wasn't a catch but life's unfair like that.

His lil' ashtray

Oh and speaking of exams, my panic sensor's faulty!

Less than 5 days to finals..I haven't revised and this is my most unprepared form to date yet I don't seem to have the urgency to crash-revise. Looks like I need to have loads of luck to bullshit my way through next week. Dam di da doom la la la...

Fingers tightly crossed xxx

Batu Caves

272 steps made up from 16 flights of 17 steps each

The I-Don't-Wanna-Leave!!! Syndrome

This benign but potentially malignant syndrome is denoted by a cluster of psychosomatic symptoms and signs as a result of having to budge from a familiar surrounding not out of an individual's choice. More common and predictable in those with a previous similar history. The alteration in one's personality and habits usually begin a few days prior to the actual relocation but if severe, can be observed a week before with subtle signs manifesting up to a fortnight prior to that. The duration varies depending on the severity of the syndrome, with Grade I seeing resolution within a week post-move, Grade II less than 2 weeks and Grade III less than a month. A period more than a month should be referred for treatment.

Symptoms

• Unable to palate large amounts of food despite the desire to have them all
  
• Limbs feel like they are made of lead
  
• Interrupted sleep, waking up before afternoon
• Vivid dreams involving memories of people associated with this place called home
  
• Inability to concentrate even when thinking of devilish plans
  
• Imagines to have superhero abilities to transport oneself from one place to another just by wishing
  

Signs

• Decreased speech content, tone or may just be odd eg. incomprehensible sentences randomly peppered with words like fishball, watermelon etc
• Reduced mischievousness
  
• Clinging to pieces of furniture in an octopus-like manner for hours on end
• Doesn't respond to retail therapy, bribes of new toys and doesn't even blink at the sight of money

Management

Reassurance of better inducement and continuous offers of toys MIGHT work. However, in seasoned syndrome sufferers, trickery might be the best bet, with bags packed by a third party and the individual forcefully bundled off with the luggage when the time comes...