Message for Mark

Dear Mark,

My friend has been speaking about you non-stop for the past 8 hours. He's very confused as he claims to be straight until he met you and now he's not so sure anymore. He turns red in your presence, is physically attracted to you and think you are the smartest person on earth. He finds your tall, lanky frame which contorts into funny postures adorable. In short, he admires you. Greatly. He is worried now, he's not sure if he idolises you as a muse- the guy he aspires to be, or he's going through a 'phase'. But he recognises these feelings well. They are stronger than the crushes he's had on a few girls who don't even know he exists. Yes, Mark, he is the silent, shy type, who falls for some random gorgeous girl at the train station.

Rumours have it that you are single. Now he's wondering whether you are straight or bendable. What with a couple of gay guys and also girls lusting after you. If you are indeed straight, it will be quite complicated wouldn't it? A straight guy falling for another straight fellow? But if both of you are bendable, then maybe it'll work?

Then, he started voicing his curiousity about homosexual physical intimacy issues. This is after some joke about appetisers 'ahem'. And I had to remind him about Sex 101 and the basic male anatomy which allows for the big 'O' with/without an inlet. This coming from someone way past his gawky teenage years! I suppose he's just fallen head over heels to the point where he can't think straight anymore (pun not intended). But don't you worry, with a little prep, he's all set to go. So you see, here's an innocent, naive guy who clamours for your affection. He's already very grateful for the attention that you've showered him in the past month, but he's admitting to being greedy and wanting more if it's OK with you. Will you tell him if you feel the same for him?

Truthfully, I think my friend has always been more gay than straight. He, however does not agree and say you are the only one who's made him wonder whether he's been hiding in the wardrobe all this while. He just wants to know if he has any chance. It doesn't matter which side you're on, even both, he would like to know if you would ever consider him. The curiosity is killing him.

Do look around you the next time you are at work. And tell that beetroot guy gazing intently into your eyes what your take on him is.

Note: All characters mentioned are purely fictional ... UNLESS you ARE Mark...