Message for Mark

Dear Mark,

My friend has been speaking about you non-stop for the past 8 hours. He's very confused as he claims to be straight until he met you and now he's not so sure anymore. He turns red in your presence, is physically attracted to you and think you are the smartest person on earth. He finds your tall, lanky frame which contorts into funny postures adorable. In short, he admires you. Greatly. He is worried now, he's not sure if he idolises you as a muse- the guy he aspires to be, or he's going through a 'phase'. But he recognises these feelings well. They are stronger than the crushes he's had on a few girls who don't even know he exists. Yes, Mark, he is the silent, shy type, who falls for some random gorgeous girl at the train station.

Rumours have it that you are single. Now he's wondering whether you are straight or bendable. What with a couple of gay guys and also girls lusting after you. If you are indeed straight, it will be quite complicated wouldn't it? A straight guy falling for another straight fellow? But if both of you are bendable, then maybe it'll work?

Then, he started voicing his curiousity about homosexual physical intimacy issues. This is after some joke about appetisers 'ahem'. And I had to remind him about Sex 101 and the basic male anatomy which allows for the big 'O' with/without an inlet. This coming from someone way past his gawky teenage years! I suppose he's just fallen head over heels to the point where he can't think straight anymore (pun not intended). But don't you worry, with a little prep, he's all set to go. So you see, here's an innocent, naive guy who clamours for your affection. He's already very grateful for the attention that you've showered him in the past month, but he's admitting to being greedy and wanting more if it's OK with you. Will you tell him if you feel the same for him?

Truthfully, I think my friend has always been more gay than straight. He, however does not agree and say you are the only one who's made him wonder whether he's been hiding in the wardrobe all this while. He just wants to know if he has any chance. It doesn't matter which side you're on, even both, he would like to know if you would ever consider him. The curiosity is killing him.

Do look around you the next time you are at work. And tell that beetroot guy gazing intently into your eyes what your take on him is.

Note: All characters mentioned are purely fictional ... UNLESS you ARE Mark...

Knock Knock

Let's say you try switching on the light in your room, you hear a click but your room's still dark.

A) No electricity
B) Light bulb kaput
C) Sit in the dark and wish hard for the light to come on

You noticed the kitchen's lights are working normally. So you ask your flatmate for a spare bulb. While flatmate is searching, you decide to give the bathroom a visit. Click and still dark. Try 2nd bathroom. Still dark.

A) Both bathrooms' and bedroom's bulbs have blowned
B) Check the fusebox
C) Phone a ghost medium ASAP

Flatmate's already at the fusebox. You suggest

A) Phone the caretaker as an emergency (it's Easter Monday)
B) Lifting the one odd lever so that its position will match the others
C) Nothing. Start panicking. It's apocalypse.

Bathrooms lit up simultaneously.

A) Check whether bedroom will do the same
B) Wonder if ghost has taken a liking to your bedroom
C) Prepare to sleep in the living room

Flatmate gave you a new light bulb.

A) Accept and thank flatmate
B) Stare and wonder where the usb port is on this funny-looking gadget
C) Phone caretaker
D) Put on damn kesian face and start weeping

Flatmate's changing your lightbulb.

A) Observe and learn
B) Make a mental note of flatmate's ability for future recurrences
C) Publish an ad looking for a boyfriend
D) Wonder if flatmate is actually a guy masquerading as a girl

Doughnut Monster Unleashed

All I want for Easter is...

a visually seductive oil-laden, fat-saturated, high-caloried , sugar-filled giant doughnut laced with an even more yummylicious artery-clogging topping.

Oh and iced coffee to go with it.

Unfortunately my craving surfaced at the most inconvenient hour of 8pm. 8pm?!!?? Confused brain must have thought it was back home where it could shut the greedy slouchy tummy up at almost anytime of the day. For goodness sake! After all this while in the land where most retail business hours rarely go beyond 6pm, it has yet to behave accordingly! Yup, as incomprehensible as to why one can't shop at night or choose to binge on certain doughnuts after sunset, it actually is common (*surprise*surprise*) in some parts of the world. Why la? Why?

Then again, maybe delirious brain has lost some of the few marbles it originally had.."Maybe Slain's Castle or Revolution would have it? If you don't ask for it, how would you know? Right? Right?" Hah... yeah, maybe clubbing hotspots and pubs have started to stock up on doughnuts and iced coffee to cater to one individual's untimely odd craving.

What are the chances? Well, "if you don't ask, you'll never find out"...

Rejoicing Baby Fu's Recovery

Ahhh...

This time last week... I was worried for my baby's health. The thought of her never seeing another day did cross my mind. I was very much in denial. Throughout the 2.5 years, she was nothing but a bundle of joy; a fighter who grew wiser and more confident with each obstacle that surprises her. She held my hand through thick and thin; skipped and laughed with me when I was all sunshiney and happy; cuddled me to sleep when I was battered and bruised. Oh the times we had together...

Sure she had her bouts of coughs and colds, some episodes more severe than others, but nothing as serious as last Friday when she was unrousable and could only muster a few grunts in my arms. It was so sudden that I was at a lost. I called out her name, cradled her and yet her beautiful eyes would not open. What had happened? There was not a slightest indication of her being unwell the previous night. Could it be a curse? Perhaps the same curse that had taken Baby Jeremy away from us?

Fu and Jeremy were non-identical twins. Although they were poles apart looks and personality wise, they were mostly inseparable. That was until last month when Baby Jeremy caught the notorious flu bug. For the first time in their short lives, they had to be separated for a long period. As Baby Jeremy coughed and spluttered in the isolation unit, Baby Fu was trudging on, not quite understanding what had happened to her cheeky side-kick. The day she saw her brother lying motionless confused her even more. Was he pretending? Is this a new game they were playing? Who was the more convincing dead possum?

Looking at her that morning transported me back to that dreadful day a month ago. Did she not want to wake up because she was busy catching up with little Jeremy? Was he showing her new tricks? How I wished then that that was not the case...

Luckily, the doctor who admitted her under his care was very reassuring, assessing and resuscitating her with much aplomb. Baby Fu has recovered well since the removal of her diseased lung. She is understandably not as energetic with only one healthy lung in her growing body. Nevertheless, she's taking it all in her stride and is waiting patiently for a lung transplant which hopefully will take place in the near future. Til then, I am sure she'll not be hindered in any way, being the tough soldier she is.

Baby Fu with the now demised Lil' Jeremy the mouse