The urgency of flipping pages in a fit of impatience.
The soothing dance of printed alphabets before me.
The vivid imagery of obvious voyeurism.
How could I ever forget?
Friday, 29 May 2009
I Forgot...
The urgency of flipping pages in a fit of impatience.
The soothing dance of printed alphabets before me.
The vivid imagery of obvious voyeurism.
How could I ever forget?
Monday, 11 May 2009
Commitment Phobic
I'm seriously freaking out. I can't seem to catch up with time whilst people around me are achieving things bang on. Left, right and center people are signing up for courses and exams, pronouncing I do-s, popping out babies, signing legal documents, climbing the property ladder, charting a life for themselves whilst I... have no clue whatsoever what I want...no path... no direction...no target. And it's scaring the hell out of me.
How can people be so sure of their gut feelings?
How do they know they'll still enjoy doing the same specialty that they had vehemently competed for now 10-20-30 years down the line? That they'll not wish to swap for e.g. the scalpel for a tongue depressor or an imaginary pendulum (!) after endless sleepless nights?
How do they know that he/she is the one? That they'll work hard on sustaing the relationship for the rest of their lives no matter what? That they'll be able to nurture their family with unconditional love even when the going gets tough?
How do they know they won't regret their decisions? And that things will fall in place as long as there's faith? How?!!??
I don't get it. I can't even decide what to eat in a restaurant whatmore stand steadfast by ONE chosen option (plus a backup plan). It's like going to the mall, so many dazzling distractions, and you tend to leave with more than one item, and sometimes things that you have no use for but yet ended up in your possession because they were there tempting you.
How in the world am I supposed to decide what the next step is? I see the future as one big giant carnival whereby they are gems in every nook and corner. And they are all as tantalising as the other whereby I would want to stumble into each and every one and enjoy them at my own pace. But knowing that I have to come to a decison regarding my career option soon enough, I'm opening my eyes as wide as I can trying to detect a path amongst all the hulla-balloo. However all this eye straining has yet to bear any result and is just making me shudder in fear as the giant clock tower ticks towards closing time.
How can people be so sure of their gut feelings?
How do they know they'll still enjoy doing the same specialty that they had vehemently competed for now 10-20-30 years down the line? That they'll not wish to swap for e.g. the scalpel for a tongue depressor or an imaginary pendulum (!) after endless sleepless nights?
How do they know that he/she is the one? That they'll work hard on sustaing the relationship for the rest of their lives no matter what? That they'll be able to nurture their family with unconditional love even when the going gets tough?
How do they know they won't regret their decisions? And that things will fall in place as long as there's faith? How?!!??
I don't get it. I can't even decide what to eat in a restaurant whatmore stand steadfast by ONE chosen option (plus a backup plan). It's like going to the mall, so many dazzling distractions, and you tend to leave with more than one item, and sometimes things that you have no use for but yet ended up in your possession because they were there tempting you.
How in the world am I supposed to decide what the next step is? I see the future as one big giant carnival whereby they are gems in every nook and corner. And they are all as tantalising as the other whereby I would want to stumble into each and every one and enjoy them at my own pace. But knowing that I have to come to a decison regarding my career option soon enough, I'm opening my eyes as wide as I can trying to detect a path amongst all the hulla-balloo. However all this eye straining has yet to bear any result and is just making me shudder in fear as the giant clock tower ticks towards closing time.
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