You've got to be very careful here. It's a dangerous city where you could easily die from being run over by a 'feet' (bicycle). The sheer number is just scary. And the way the locals ride them is scarier than the mat rempits back home.
This is not a bicycle scrapyard. It's a bicyclepark. How people recognise their wheelies I have no idea. With that number, the rate of thefts is still surprisingly high. And they are as cheap as 10 euros if you buy them from some dodgy guy in the alleys. Pointless buying pricey ones when they are just going to end up being stolen or found in the water of one of the many canals. 
Your eyes didn't deceive you. It's not the angle of the camera either. The buildings are slanted. Not because some people miscalculated and tried to pass it off as art. It actually served as a practical solution for the narrow build in that the beams at the top of those buildings meant goods/furniture/electrical appliances and the all important mattress could actually be transported into the house itself from the street via a pulley system without damaging the exterior. Coz simply trying to negotiate the teeny weeny stairs will not work. How the tallest nation grew to have a fascination for small things like these houses, smart cars, absinthe (i bet it's because they come in small shots), miniature food and possibly small people? is a wonder.Maybe it's because of the international exposure it has had for yonks before you and me were born. It all started with herbs and spices trading. (And then people trading etc).
This is Multatuli, the guy who came up with a brilliant plan to foil attacks from pirates and thus saving the trade industry. By the way, Multatuli means "I've ejaculated". How very apt for Amsterdam.
With its colourful history, it's obviosly a cosmopolitan city. There's a whole load of food variety here and surprise surprise not just in Chinatown. Indonesian, Japanese, Korean, Western...Name it and you'll get it almost in any street. Even the guy in the 4th act of the 'live theatre' show was unmistakably foreign. Looks Thai to me. Ok that's a different story. Wait... Back to food first. Proper edible food ;)
This... ladies and gentleman is FEBO. It is the best invention EVER!!!!I'm not saying that because the Febo guy gave me 5 extra hot, richly filled creamy croquettes FOC on top of the 2 I actually paid for. Yup he just decided to present us with a trayful of goodies when he was on his break and asked us to help ourselves out of the kindness of his heart. People like that actually do exist k :) Seriously the Febo croquettes are absolutely yummy. I was too in love with the one I tried that I didn't bother trying other flavours or other stuff like the burgers, fries etc. But whoever came up with this idea of hot yummy food that comes out of vending machines, he/she is indeed a genius. At that point in time, it didn't matter that I was soaked from the rain or that I was trembling from the cold, all that was at stake was what came between me and my next bite. And obviously, NOTHING could stop me until I was physically too full (or maybe if I had ran out of coins if the free ones didn't come in time).. Ahhh Febo...:))))) After food naturally comes drinks. This is where you see the word Heineken every 5 seconds either on the billboards, on hotel roofs, chillers. Oh as hip and cool as Amsterdam is, smoking and public drinking are illegal. But if you are discreet, it's tolerable. Yeah there will be no NYPD style drama if you start lighting up and walk around with a small bottle of lime Bacardi. The police there are not that free la... Haiyo...
Plus if you do it with style, you'd most probably get away with anything. As long as it's discreet. That's the keyword in Amsterdam. Like drugs. It is illegal in Amsterdam. I know. I'm just as surprised. Imagine only finding out when you are sitting in a dingy cell in some tempat tahanan. But then again, the definition of discreet sure is variable. It's easy enough to find hash lollies and space cakes in regular stores and they are super duper cheap. That's coz they only have a placebo effect. Might as well save those cash for Febo :) There are a couple of shops which sells the real thing though. And these are manned by professionals who can advise you on the amount, type, technique which would be suitable for you ensuring you don't strip and run around naked in the streets or jump down the building after having some magic vegetables from "Smart"shops or coffee which leaves you buzzing with a different high than the one you get from Starbucks.
If you fancy some in a 'safe(r)' environment look for those that can be easily recognised by long queues of people or big fat cats lazing about who look so doped up to even blink at the sight of mice. There's one really packed one where Ocean 12 was filmed. And they play the movie clip repeatedly on their big screen. Speak of the attraction of Hollywood hehe... 
Now not everything's illegal (officially) here. Like gambling. But I wouldn't recommend it. If there's one thing crap about Amsterdam, it's their casinos. Boring as hell. Maybe that's why they are known as the city of sex, drugs and drinks rather than say god of gamblers.Oh yes, the red light district...
There's an old church right in the middle of the red light district which was once booked by a blur Disney employee for a company function. But it all turned out well when some sort of last minute agreement between the child-friendly company and the residents ensured that the curtains of the many display windows were drawn tightly for that morning. Yeah, the area is alive 24/7, anytime of the day and the selection is vast. When I say vast I really mean VAST. Mainstream, young, err not so young, toned, flabby, different hues, heights etc tapping at the glasses. And they work 8 hours shift each. So, if you are damn _______(insert your own excuse), then go and window shop again 8 hours later. Price. Costly if you are an amateur and striking a deal without detailing what exactly you want beforehand can be rather foolish. Man, a woman CAN take 15 minutes to undress even with just a 2-piece bikini on and that's your time up ahahahaha....
There are also video cabins for discreet single individual action as an alternative if you really cannot tahan. Seriously boys have no self-control... I'm starting to like the word discreet :) Whatever it is, stay safe boys! Oh and bear in mind, this IS a legal profession like any other. And PLEASE PLEASE treat the women with respect. If you are wondering, there's no human trafficking involved. With the giant spotlight on the city, it's plain impossible. They don't take just any girl on the street. You've got to be an EU citizen and like any other job, have the right aptitude. Above 18s don't qualify either, you have to proof you have what it takes by maybe working in 'erotic nightclubs' (live sex theatres whatever you want to call them) first.They are tonnes of these but the most popular/or rather touristy two would be the elephant one (can't remember the name except for the giant pink elephant in front of the premise) which is the most expensive at 35 euros per person and Moulin Rouge at 25 euros per person and if the 'bouncer' likes you, you get two free drinks included in the admission fee. Hahaha it's otherwise 35 euros with drinks. See why I love Amsterdam? Lots and lots of freebies, there are even free guided tours of the city! A snapshot of Moulin Rouge acts include strip dancing, women with talented vaginal muscles, sex games and ended with a couple having sex. Oh and you might well be picked for audience partcipation as well. In summary, I'd describe it as a heavy sex-themed comedy show rather than anything sleazy. Only one act was hot. My guy friend fell asleep when we looked his way. Though he might have pretended since he wanted to stay for another repeat round. Hmmm... Maybe the gajah one would have been less amateurish and more sizzling. That said Moulin Rouge was good fun. The bouncer was nice and we got free drinks also. So I give it a 3.5 star like our Hotel Ibis not Iblis la hehehe....
I hereby declare that I do not condone or edge or peer-pressure any vices on anybody OK? Any decision or action made is the result of your own machinery's inbuilt programme in that little hollow box of yours, the one on top your neck. Amsterdam is a lovely city with beautiful sights and sounds and has lots to offer for those into pure clean fun (yeah right). Seriously honestly. There's something for everybody. It is the safest place to be if you wanna let loose and go indulge in a little vice if it's your kinda thing, if not, just chill and have fun :) 
Compare the two pictures. The first shows how the Dutch kiss whereas the latter Glaswegians. No wonder the lady in one of the acts repeatedly shoved the hands of one of the invited audience on stage away as his hands magically keeps creeping up to her hips and thighs. And Amsterdam IS safer than Glasgow. Enough said :) 
Have a good day !!! xoxoxoxoxoP/S: Again the pics are courtesy of my friend. I didn't take many as I was busy gaping at the distractions:)
